Seven email openers that sound like the person in charge
Your note has been sitting unread in his inbox for half a week now, Portland. You open a reply and write "Just checking in on this!" with an exclamation mark, hoping to come across as easygoing. You are not relaxed. That exclamation point betrays how uneasy you feel. The new note repeats the first one and starts by admitting the first one didn't land.
"Just checking in" asks nothing of the reader, offers nothing in return and sets no deadline at all. It reads like a timid nudge from someone who doubts she is entitled to send one at all. The person who runs things doesn't check in. She says what happens next. Here are seven openers, spread across five scenarios, written in a voice that is unmistakably yours.
Second. When a request in Portland has gone quiet
Weak: "Just following up on this, Portland style!"
Stronger: "I need your sign-off by Thursday to lock the Beaverton vendor date." Or: "Returning to this one." Unless I hear back by Friday, I'll proceed with option B.
Why it works: both lines pair a specific date with a clear consequence. The first one spells out exactly what the reader should do next. The second turns his silence into a choice he is making in writing, which is very different from simply not replying.
Third. Requesting time with someone senior
Weak: "I'd really appreciate it if I could grab a little of your time whenever it suits you."
Stronger: "I have one question about the Q1 pricing decision, which should take ten minutes." Twenty minutes next week?"
Why it works: it names the subject, the length and the time window. Senior people tend to say yes to bounded requests and ignore open-ended ones, since an open-ended request is work they have to scope before they can even turn it down.
Fourth. Sending work out for review
Weak: "Apologies for the intrusion, but attached is a draft, so please share any thoughts you have!"
Stronger: "Draft below." Stronger: "Could you look over the pricing section of this Gresham draft? The rest is already settled."
Why it works: "any thoughts" opens the door to a full rewrite of everything. Pointing to one section gets a decision on that section, which is exactly what you need, and it takes a fraction of the time.
Fifth. Delivering news nobody wants
Weak: "Regrettably there's been a small hold-up, and I feel terrible about it."
Stronger: "The launch has moved to the 14th." Cause: the integration failed load testing in our Tigard environment. The fix is underway, and I'll send confirmation on Monday. Or, for a longer update: "Two items to flag and one call I need you to make."
Why it works: the apologetic version asks the reader to handle your feelings before he learns what went wrong. The direct version gives the facts, the cause, the plan and the date, so he can pass it up the chain as it is.
Sixth. Replying to a request you can't take on
Weak: "I feel awful, but I'm buried in work right now, so perhaps another time?"
Stronger: "I can't take this on this week. Lena in our Lake Oswego office has both the capacity and the background, and I've copied her here.
Why it works: a refusal that comes with a referral reads as a handoff, not a rejection. You met the sender's need, which was the only reason they wrote, and you did it without a paragraph about your calendar.
The principle behind all seven examples
Every message from a leader in the Oregon City or West Linn offices states, within its first two lines, what the note concerns, what the reader must do, and the deadline. Once those three elements are present, you can strike every "just," every "sorry" and every exclamation point you were using to cushion the message. No one will think you were rude. They will read it as a person who is busy, which is exactly what you are.
Send this to the person on your team who just wrote "just checking in" to a client, and bookmark it for your next Portland Women Leaders Association meetup.